The art of listening: Going beyond waiting for your turn to speak
In today's fast-paced world, communication has become more critical than ever. Yet, amidst the constant chatter and digital distractions, the art of listening seems to be fading into the background. Listening is not merely the act of hearing words; it is an art that requires intention, attention, and genuine empathy. According to a survey cited by Clay Drinko, in Psychology Today, 96% of people think they are good listeners when in fact research has shown people only retain about half of what others say. As Simon Sinek aptly puts it, "There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak." Is the art of listening something we can all continually work on, irrespective of the stage you are at in your career?
Listening and waiting for your turn to speak may seem similar on the surface, but they are fundamentally different. Waiting for your turn to speak involves passively waiting for the other person to finish talking so that you can jump in with your thoughts, opinions, or anecdotes. This approach centres on self-expression and can lead to conversations where each party is merely waiting for their chance to talk, often resulting in misunderstandings, and missed connections. On the other hand, true listening is an active and attentive process. It involves giving the speaker your full presence and focus, delaying judgment, and seeking to comprehend their words and emotions. Authentic listening goes beyond just hearing the words; it aims to understand the speaker's perspective, feelings, and intentions.
Empathy is at the heart of effective listening. It is the ability to step into someone else's shoes and genuinely understand their thoughts and emotions. When we listen with empathy, we create a safe space for the speaker to express themselves fully, without fear of judgment or interruption, which is undeniably invaluable when engaging with employees. Empathetic listening allows us to connect on a deeper level with others. It fosters trust and mutual respect, laying the foundation for meaningful and fulfilling relationships. As we listen with empathy, we validate the speaker's experiences and emotions, making them feel heard and valued.
Becoming an active listener is not something that happens overnight. It is a skill that requires cultivation and practice. When engaging in a conversation, eliminate distractions and focus entirely on the speaker. Approach conversations with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Be open to new perspectives and ideas, even if they differ from your own. Repeat or paraphrase what the speaker has said to ensure understanding and to demonstrate that you are actively engaged in the conversation. Do we have a bad habit of formulating a response while the speaker is talking, rather than trying to truly understand their message before offering input? Sometimes, people may take time to express themselves fully so we may have to be patient and allow them the space to share their thoughts at their own pace. It is an everyday skill we all use, but does that mean we are as good at it as we can be? Should we be taking personal ownership in developing our listening skills?
When we embrace the art of listening, we create a ripple effect that extends beyond individual conversations. Empathetic and active listening can transform workplaces, families, and communities.
It fosters a culture of openness, collaboration, and understanding, where individuals feel valued and appreciated. In the professional sphere, listening to colleagues, employees, and clients nurtures a harmonious and productive work environment. By harnessing the art of listening, can we encourage the sharing of innovative ideas, constructive feedback, and creative solutions?
In a world filled with noise and distractions, the art of listening is a skill worth developing. As Simon Sinek aptly reminds us, true listening is about going beyond waiting for our turn to speak; it is about actively engaging with others, understanding their perspectives, and showing genuine empathy. By embracing this art, we can establish deeper connections, build meaningful relationships, and foster a more compassionate and harmonious society. Let us strive to be present, attentive, and empathetic listeners, making a positive impact on every conversation we have. Whether you are a current or emerging leader, being self-aware and reflective on the possibility of improving listening skills can single handedly improve relations with employees and co-workers.
References
Drink, Clay. “We’re Worse at Listening Than We Realize.” Psychology Today, August 4, 2021. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/play-your-way-sane/202108/were-worse-listening-we-realize
Written by Izzy McHattie, EP Business in Hospitality